trying to come up with an interesting reason as to why i want to become a medical imager...notings coming to me.

silly QTAC. had me down as not having done english. therefore meaning that i haven't met the minimum entry requirements for anything. as in i couldn't apply for teaching or anything. really hope that doesn't fuck me over in the long run.

passionpop, otherwise known as the traditional means of teaching teenagers how to vomit.

http://www.courthousenews.com/2008/08/26/Parents_Say_Four_Cops_Beat_Girl_12.htm

ocassionally i eat, shower and make my bed also.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

"i don't like the idea of viewing people as numbers" - maureen on the ENTER score
"you only got a 98, why would melbourne give you a scholarship?" - kiong on the ENTER score

ENTER: 98.40

English Language A+ A+ A+
RAW: 47
SCALED: 48.12

Methods A+ A A+
RAW: 40
SCALED: 44.67

Chemistry A A+ A+
RAW: 40
SCALED: 44.33

Physics A+ A+ A+
RAW: 40
SCALED: 42.91

Biology A A+ A+
RAW: 41
AGGREGATE: 4.18

Uni Enhancement
AGGREGATE: 4.00


it's weird the way these things work out, huh?
lang was meant to be me worst subject and physics was meant to be the best.


EDIT: still don't recon is good enough for the medicine. not that flashy in the interviews you see.

guess who got a perfect study score in history.

Congratulations!

You have been offered a Scholarship conditional upon you enrolling in a course at the University of Melbourne in semester 1, 2009.

Please see the attached offer pack for more details.

Kind regards,
Lucinda

and

These scholarships will provide you with an annual allowance of $6000 for up to four years of full time
enrolment. $1000 is paid upon enrolment and then you will receive $2500 following each semester’s
census date.

will go to final assembly if happy with TER.

went with sam to buy guns.
the shop had put tinsel and santa hats on the dead animals.
how festive.

sams teachers now all think he has a kid. well, we have a kid.

I'll explain.
sams cousin = down from canada / across from new zealand.
sams cousin has a baby.

myahn + tyler = half anglo, quater asian, quater wog baby.
kham + sam = hypothetically = half anglo, quater asian, quater wog baby.

baby which looks half anglo, quater asian, quater wog = rare.

so basically. introduced to sams teachers. holding baby. mother nowhere in sight. got questions implying i was the mother and knowledgeable about noami.

my theory: they gave sam three awards cos they figured he was a teenage father.

you know what's weird: watching someone flirt with ya mum.
you know what's weirder: watching someone old enough to be yer brother flirtin with ya mum.

me mum popped me out when she was thirty.

it really annoys me when people are rude to service staff.

that being said it really annoys me when service staff are incompetent.
ie. don't know whats in the food, don't know whats on the menu (these rules may of course be bent in 'ethnic' establishments where due to a language barrier you can never quite be sure that they're incompetent).
classic example: "it's okay, there's no vegan in that"

also, when people treat dietery requirements based on allergies/religion/ethics.
ie. potential for a lawsuit.

EDIT: rule of thumb: don't be rude unless somebody's rude to you. but if service staff are rude, it's particularly inappropriate, in which case its a free for all.

my mother cannot cook pasta. as in boil the water. put the dried pasta in the boiling water. drain. eat.

i visited me mum the other day. she asked me to cook pasta. james at half the packet. two full large 'asian soup bowls'* of penne. then he was still hungry. apparenlty in my dillusioned state I thought a large bad of dried pasta would feed a 50kg 50yr-old, a grade one and a year 7. apparently not. james then made himself four slices toast.

my family scares me sometimes. and thats not even including fatty. my mother's hous goes through three litres of milk a day. because of that they buy long-life milk - by the case - it's just not viable to toddle of to the shops to get 3L every morning. she has three cases in storage.

the thing with that is my mother doesn't drive. and she may be straight outta west-footscray. but no way in hell are they going to be shopping trolleys lined up me mothers front yard. she takes a baby-less pram when buying bulk long-like the milk. the downside is. she looks insane.



*think of the largest pho bowl you could image.

you know whats weird: supermarket music.
whatever the hell happened to the classic brian eno music for airports.
purchasing overpriced groceries is just not the same with 'safeway the freshfood people' jingling on repeat in the background.

currently watching oprah. talking about animal welfare (not rights - proposition 2). predicted outcome: oprah will swear to eat only 'free range' eggs and 'cruelty free' beef.

EDIT: i really dilike the phrase "make the ultimate sacrifice for us" - it implies choice and consent.

you know those people that other people make fun of. the ongoing jokes. the people who don't realise they're being made a mockery of because they lack the certain finess to grasp the language used. well thats pretty much the story of fatties life.

he has a bad mohawk. which he puts gel in. he's incredibly pale. shave to the skin. his head is blue. his standard outfit comprises of cheap plastic sunglasses, big white dunlop runners, and an oversized 'bogan' tracksuit. he also always seems to have incredibly stale body odour.

james is taller, better looking, better with the ladies and in general a nicer person. everybody likes james. he got invited to an eighteenth and everything (he's in year 7).

people would feel sorry fatty if he was less of a dickhead. james has been rushed to hospitals twice because of fatty. once for two mangled and severed fingers. once for just under a square foot of second degree burns across his neck and back.

while nobody debates that william inteded for james to loose his fingers. everyone knoes he wanted and intended to hurt james really bady. he just didn't think about the damage inflicting pain can cause.

ie. he held jameses hand in the front door and then proceeded to slam the front door. i guess he didn't realise that that would remove somebodies fingers while shattering the bones into a billion (well, more like 5-10) pieces. he just thought about how much it would hurt.

hmmmm... need to get round to making some of those pies. the fruit mince ones. those were always, in my opinion, the best christmas food.

me family doesn't really have christmas food. wasn't something done - christmas that is. but just cos we don't do easter doesn't mean we can't eat hot cross buns.

mince pies were a bit like that. you could only buy them november-febuary (ie. a whole quater of the year). so you made a habit of eating many when they were 'in season'. need to make some of those.

cooking 'christmas' food for the elderly/disabled.
some people are soo fucking anally retentive about how that shit has to be done.
everything has to have WAY TOO MUCH lard/butter in addition to oil on it because 'its the proper way' (possible explationation for heart attacks)
everything has to have WAY TOO MUCH sugar added to it (custard, fruit salad etc.) (possible explanation for diabetes)

interesting story: we were doing pudding, which as many would know don't contain coins anymore to prevent killing people - described by the elderly as 'jewish' puddings



ps. pavlova = gross, trifle = gross
one woman ate a dinner plate full of sweets: fruit salad, trifle, pavlova, fruit cake, pudding, custard, extra whipped cream, baklava, rum balls, mini headgehogs and mini mint slices (ie. a full portion of everything, in addition to a full roast half-of-noahs-ark lunch)

if you invite someone out to dinner. and they don't fit the establishment dress code based on some technicality. you don't just leave them outside or tell them to make their own way home while you go inside. its bizarre. its kinda rude too.





NOTE: this is particularly inappopropriate behaviour when on a 'date' and when the person without the suit jacket is your 'date'

women: lack a natural ability for the onomatopoia of firearms

since when the hell was the bold and the beautiful prime time?

sooo...adelaid.

alls i can say is don't drink the tap water.

first time on a domestic flight. and i have to say, i don't know if its just a feature of international flights, or virginblue in particular, but the air host/ess aren't as good lookin as the malaysia airways ones. not that thats relevant. but just interesting. but it could just be my aversian to fake tan. (as opposed to the fake bleach the azns adopt).

ran into mazza and hash and their dads. marion helped me with me outfit. looked like i was going to court: 'suede' heels (if one inch constitutes a 'heel') and cropped fitted blazer - as opposed to the same outfit with a cardigan and volley. overall i don't think it really made a difference. but white volleys with black tights might have looked a tad odd - there's no table - they can see your shoes.

the interview went better than monash. two interviewers. both seemed to smile (with their eyes in case you were wondering) and nod and shit. i think the fact that they were both 50/60s had something to do with it - the lay person at monash (mid 50s) seemed to like me while the other two at monash (20s) were stone face through the whole thing.

they don't identify the lay person from the faculty staff in the adelaid one unlike the monash one. it was pretty easy to tell though. one of the people was asking me specific questions about the course and the courses at other universities which barry ('bazza') couldn't have know. spoke for about 50 min.

was getting pretty woried after the interview when waiting in the 'holding pen'/'holding cell'. the two interviewers deliberate/argue till the can come to an agreement within a certain standard deviation for a score to give you. they were deliberating for approx 45 mins. if they couldn't agree i'd have to sit another interview. which i just couldn't be fucked with at that point.

got a couple of laughs out of them. bazza particularly. he asked me if i wanted a glass of water 30 min into it. at the time i through it was an odd questions. till i went to the bathroom a whole hour after the interview to see my face was bright red. i was feeling rather warm during the interview. took off my jacket and everything. was wearing a sleeveless dress - showed off a bit too much shoulder perhaps.

spoke to a couple of med students. one of them writes a blog soley on the topic of getting into medicine which i thought was rather funny (generate alot of traffic though).

when i was chattin with the other applicants in circle all commie-like one guy mentioned he was from NZ. i asked if he took advantage of duty free. he said no. i asked if he was under 18. he said no. i asked why he didn't buy booze and cigarettes. everyone stared at me. some girl started talking about perfume. why the fuck do people buy perfume duty free? as in why is perfume cheaper in airports? what kind of special tax exists on perfume that is magically lifted in airports? (not a rhetorical question, if anyone knows please tell me)

met some other guy who drives the train at the myer windows - or so he told me.

med students taught me how to play 'scattergories' - which i wasn't very good at - and some kind of 'i have a larger vocabulary than you game' - they kept using words like neurolemmings-something.... i won on the word 'paisley'. they all stared at me. somebody asked if it was a herb.

greatest word ever: recessionista

sooo. monash. was shit. 'lay' person seemed nice and interested in what i was saying and didn't seem immediately put off that i was dressed age appropriately (ie. not like a 35 year old going to court).

when the stone-faced doc-guy asked me if i'd done work experience at a hospital,
i said no, applied but they get lots of applicants.
"well, i guess thats how your learn what you don't want to do" - lay person (smiling)

took about 10-15min i would estimate on the 'detechnicalisation' which was a shocker. then interrupted doctor-guy who cut me off to ask if lay person actually understood and would like me to elaborate (which she did).

completely blanked on all the volunteering and co-curricular i've done. smacked myself in the head as soon as i walked out.

apparently i've got a 1/2 chance given that i got an interview. don't think i'll get in though. possibly cos i won't get a decent enter and probably because I didn't exube confidence and was probably wasn't concise enough. (that and I kept refering to words which i hind sight i don't think the faculty staff would have understood - she was fresh of the boat).

that and i also went something chronic over-time. apparently you have 35-40 min allocated and they spend 5-10 min deliberating. i was in there for an hour. rabbitin/minimal-responing.

oh, and i don't think they're meant to comment, but nice-smiling lady was quote "i think youve shown us that you're rather independant and doing this for the right reasons" (could have been a consolation) - the stone-face doc-guy, faculty-lady didn't look impressed with lay person throughout the whole thing for her friendliness.

oh. and ran into three people from school. sofie fan being one of them.

NOTE: i also don't think i used enough 'examples from the life of kham'.

number four: UWA

salad on a stick.

so i wrotes up my resume. kinda hard considering I ain't done no paid works. a third of the thing is co-curricular and another third in volunteering. hmmm. but if i get a job i won't be able to watch dr.phil, oprah, ready-steady cook, judgejudy and hughies cooking adventures.

speaking of which. i really wanted to go on ready steady cook and have peter everett make awkward comments with queer innuendo. pretty much the first thing i did when i handed in my end-of year uni stuff was go on their website to look where to sign up. alas they had finished filming the third season.

what i wanna know is, who the fuck did ana piss off? two 50s in year 11. no awards year 11. no awards year 12.

rumours have been flying round, and gotten back to my grandmother.
apparently margarets daughter who married 'that chinaman' was seen walking down barkley street with 'a negro wearing a tea-towl on his head'.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/

i do apologise. the blog has been rather crude as of late.

1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
(37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec

how remeniscent of the (debroglie) wavelength of a person - 'students should note that they cannot diffract through the door' - damn physics (fucked up the end-of-year)

'vertical dancing'... what an odd euphemism... as opposed to horizontal dancing?

hmmm. should the kham get a facebook.

i just handed in my essay final and already its getting to me. on top of that i can't really predict what i'll be doing next year so its not like i can start studying for that - though i might start 'practicing' for the 2009 UMAT*

and then i rediscovered these things going through my room and cleaning up and shit for the first time in about six months (i even cleaned the second carpet). they're called 'books'**. currently going over a little krugman number.

*for those of you who potentially care: 192 (97th percentile)

**funny story about that: returning a book at the maribrynong library when i realised the book i had handed the librarian and a bright pink rubber (wrapped, not used, 'ribbed for her pleasure' - don't ask me, point the finger at sam) jammed between the pages. snatched it out of her hands and mumbled something about about forgetting my bookmark and avoided all eye contact.

or packet oatmeal. thats weird.

boiling noodles is not 'making pasta'
steaming dumplings is not 'making dumplings'
adding hot water to powder is not 'making stock'
putting something in the oven is not 'making a baked good'
opening a can/jar is not 'making the conentents of such can/jar'

pedantic i know, but i'm getting rather sick of getting excited when somebody tells me the made ravioli.

ps. don't buy packet pancake batter

why do i keep typing 'chronomological' in all my essays. classic case of liason. or have i already forgotten all the shit i was supposed meant to be assesed upon by the exams.

so all the council election propaganda got distributed today. and i have to say it is rather entertainings.

jesse martin (who i presume is not the yatch guy) is 'outspoken against gentrification for gentrifications sake" whatever the hell that means - probably no trucks through an area nobody gave a shit about the trucks in before it became the trendy inner-west hub for 'yummy mummies', but then again that just my crazy speculation.

the liberal candidate i have to say i find the most truthful. footscray's dirty and unsafe and the coucil pisses away money on stupid shit like that 15m high concrete sculpture which resembles a giant gaping vagina as you enter the area from the main road and go past footscray on the train (she didn't actually say that - but everyone was thinking it). apparently its time to send the "labour fat cats a message".

speakin of which john cummings (owner of 1.5 million business and local labout canditate) i have to say is the most entertaining. but in a kinda self-depricating way.

apparently he was integral in organising protests against drug use - somebody should really break it to him: smakies don't give a shit about placards and catchy chants.

he also open his pamphlet with "my mother is in a photo leading a protest" (seriously not paraphrasing, thats actually what he says)

one of his propositions for if elected mayor is the 'friendly footscray promotion': posters with a Similing face with the simple message "friendly Footscray" or "If it's friendly it's footscray with a happy similing face (another direct quote).

i have to admit i am rather biased against this fellow. when his sister was a local councillor/mayor and my mother was campainging to fix up local parks she decided that she was too busy and replacing missing bins and seats was not a high profile enough use of her time.

people need to get over the fact that they have no entitlement to be able to 'aford' animal products.

totally finished the exams. will write more when finish stupid essay. just started.

Referring to one or some of the theorists to whom you have been introduced in this subject, outline your preferred theory of scientific change. Present a critique of this theory with respect to the "modern revolution in geology" and/or "the death of the dinosaurs".

i'm voting Ramón Gerardo Antonio Estévez for president.

number three: university of western sydney.

To all Science, Philosophy and History students,

In keeping with a long standing University tradition, Chris and I thought it might
be a nice idea to go to the pub after our last tute for Science, Philosophy, History
on Thursday. As the last tutorial for the day finishes at 6.15pm, the suggestion is
to make our way to the Clyde at this time. If people want to go there ahead of us,
that's fine.

Hope to see you there.

Kristian

its like methods and lang produced an illegitimate child:
"a linguist is very bored and counts the number of 'jargon' words used in a meetings modeled by [some fancy-schamcy function]"

full got interviews'n'shit

monash 1st december
'dum-dum' med (adelaid) some time late november early december.

now alls i needs is a 99.85 and some kind of trendy volunteering with a well known organisation (like Make Poverty History or RSPCA)

thank the lord, we can now all quote catherine deveny (on beureacreatese) in our end of year lang essays.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html

i shit you not. someone stole my underwear. i won't but hanging my clothes out again anytime soon.

apparently a real film.

brace yourself. take a seat if you have to. my feet are a uk mens 8. otherwise known as clown feet.

i just realised, all the movies i thought had matt daemon in them, actually featured marky mark. like max payne. looks like matt daemon.

you know whats funny.
whats funny is when someones wallet chain gets stuck to the bench. then someone gets stuck to the bench.

classic case of lexical ambiguity

there are many things my mother doesn't believe in.
such as cordial.
the first time i had cordial i was in grade 5 and it was interschool sports.
my mother believed in diluted fruit juice. and i stress diluted.

jelly cups was another contrabad. suitable for vegans and vegetarians from aldi.

"there's something wrong with the fishtank, one of the fish is dead and the other ones are eating it"

so i was in the maribrynong library the other day. minding my studios business. and there was a rather elderly fellow in the desk-cubicle-thing opposite me. and he started making rather odd noises. almost as if he were in pain. and then the desk started shaking. and then i realised. i'd been hit by the public mastubator. and i really had to use the bathroom. but i didn't want to have to walk past him and risk awkward i-know-what-you-did-five-minutes-ago eye contanct. but then he left. so it was all okay in the end. and i'll be honest, i did check on my way back from the bathroom the state he left the deckbicle in.

am i the only one who finds it ironic that the RSPC is having a ginormous cake stall. with the dairy and the eggs and the gelatin and all. oh i forgot. not cute animals.

a lesson in subtelty:

KB who is representing Australia as Captain of the Australian
Debating team in Washington sent her apologies for missing this historic event.

The The Space Show is a one hour radio programme presented every Wednesday evening between 7 and 8 p.m. by Andrew Rennie for 88.3 Southern FM (Southern FM is a Melbourne radio station).

mannix, the guy who sounds like a jockey and looks like a jockey who was just a tad too tall to be a jockey has mantights (skins, although according to richards they're nike and skins are a different brand). and he was wearing them today. and they were flapping round his thighs - thunder-thighs.

i realise this will be of not interest to somebody who cannot picture mannix in floppy man-tights.

my grandmother hates the english. something about a bad horse.

http://abstinencethecondom.com/

from the people who brought you:
"pedophilia is a disease, think about it, you wouldn't date someone with cancer, would you?"

and:

The condom broke, came off, or in some other way malfunctioned. He was behind me and I couldn't tell he wasn't using one. We just got carried away and he didn't pull out in time. I forgot to take my birth control. I had an appointment to get on the pill, but we didn't wait.

There are a whole slew of reasons a woman might find herself in need of a morning after pill; emergency contraception; Plan B. But unless you have Plan B already waiting in your medicine cabinet, it is highly unlikely you'll get your hands on a morning-after pill the morning after.

I am a middle class 29 year old mother of three, living in the Midwest, who sees a physician regularly. I have kept up on the news about Plan B's availability over the counter at major drug stores. In my line of work, I regularly tell teens and young adults to always use protection, and tell girls of reproductive age who aren't so into the whole reproduction thing that they should be on birth control.

I encouraged young women and men to seek Plan B if their contraceptive method failed or they forgot to use contraception, telling them it was easy to obtain. But was it?

On a Tuesday morning at 7 a.m., I set out to discover just how easy it would be for me to get my hands on some emergency contraception. It all started with a web search.

"sunshine free, why do footscray" - and example set to rival that of the bayside library service

the "footscray asian businessmens association" (that actually what they call themselves) have yet again rallied to protest the council push to implement parking meters into the shopping district.

the council wastes money on a whole buch of stupid crap. like why the fuck does my suburban street which leads to nowhere and has no traffic have bike lanes. it makes no sense.

i blame janet rice (previous mayor) who spent over a million on bike lanes. when she was a coucnillor, the local council paid for her to travel to american and europe to 'study' sustainable transport. she's the local greens member. she lives in footscray with her partner penny and her two children and enjoys yoga and gardening.

in other news, yum cha daly has now been altered to read yum cha daily

i lost my apple in the couch. you know those couches that swallow things. the couches where you sit down. and the force of gravity acts everso slowly. and you don't realise. and they you notice that your chest is pressed up against your knees and your stuck in the couch.

how very can't-sleep-clown-will-eat-me.

in braybrook, there's a bakery that does vegan coconut and red bean buns. not that any of you will ever wonder into that part of town, but if you do, check out the murals (kham circa 2004).

kiwi fruits leave a funny taste in your mouth.

i made this stir-fry the other nigh right, with purple cabbage amongst other things, and i couldn't finisht the whole thing on my lonesome, so leftovers were placed in the fridge. the cabbage dyed the tofu blue. tasted good but.

"All new students will be required to show evidence of their Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C and HIV/AIDS status during the first few weeks of enrolment. "

so me mum got some volunteering award. but nobody gave her a list of the program. so she was eating when her name was called out. and everyone looked at her. and she blushed.

lars looks like chris liley. no joke.

chemistry: A
physics: A+

samuel, upon opening the letter, "congratulations, you got an A+ in biology"

some people

greatest oo-mat quote ever: "her face scrunched up like her nipple"

"i think the dentist has a bit of a thing for me"
"who? koo. he's a bit young isn't he. i think he likes kiong more than you anyway"
"errr. no. mortimer"
"ohhhh. the dead-looking guy. you sure he's not just feeling guilty about the time he got a bit of your tooth lodged in your eye"

bertrand russel is a commie.
bertrand russel is set reading for uni.
typical.

roads to freedom has both marx and bakunin on the front cover.
i don't think its because he managed to find pictures of them in which they both had rather similiar beards.

You are from the Westside if:

You catch trains from Flinders St Station via platform 5

Your train line runs through North Melbourne

You drive over the Westgate Bridge to get in/out of the city

Your too drunk to drive over the Westgate you take Dynon or Footscray Road/s

You know that a trolley pole is not used for shopping sprees

You know that the ‘Broady Boys’ are not a Broadway appreciation group

You know that the ‘Footscray Asians’ don’t carry machetes around because they enjoy gardening

You know at least one person who picked up smoking at the age of 11

Being a Dole bludger is a valid career option

You regard cops with high suspicion and feel at times less safe when they are around

At one point in your life you hung around at Highpoint Shopping Centre Level 1

You know how to swear in at least 3 different languages

You know that the best donuts in the world are from Olympic donuts at Footscray station

At one point in your life you have been or have tried to get Centerlink benefits

You know the location of at least 3 Centerlinks

You refer to police officers as anything other than police officers

You believe that everybody from Werribee are a bunch of moles (no offence to the moles from Werribee)

You always abbreviate the name of the high school you went to e.g. Sunny West, 4C, CRC, KPSC,

You know that getting ‘Smashed’ is a good thing but getting ‘Chopped’ is a bad thing

The site of a burning car on the side of the road does not faze you

You know the Calder freeway has no speed cameras

You have eaten late night meals at Marty’s Pizza hideout, Charlies, Furlong Kebabs, Lazy Mo’s, Smoking Jo’s

You know that the burgers are better at Ring Road Maccas (city bound side)

You drunk better when you drive

You have at least 1 story where a cop has hassled you for being ‘ethnic’

Yes that is Marijuana growing in your neighbour’s backyard

You believe that Puckle St has the best coffees in Melbourne

You know that dodging train ticket inspectors is a life skill

You take out your packet of smokes at any train station someone is guaranteed to ask you for a ‘spare’ smoke

Soccer is the national sport of the west

You know somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody

You can buy 50cent cigarette singles from Tony’s

You’ve attended a drink up at Footscray Park

You’ve had a pork bun from Alfrieda St

You’ve never had trouble scoring alcohol/cigarettes/drugs/dodgy mobile phones despite being underage

Your train line has cops for ticket inspectors

You know that house parties in the west are always better

The word ‘Cunt’ is only semi offensive and can actually be a complement e.g “Watta sick cunt”

Being a ‘Tradie’ can earn you more money than a dude in a suit

You have witnessed the following: gang brawls, drug deals/busts, car theft, shop lifting, armed robbery etc.

You don’t even notice graffiti anymore

You regard kids who go to private schools in the eastside as a bunch of pussies

Have trouble explaining to non-westsider’s were you are from because they’ve never heard of it before

It takes you maximum 20minutes to get to the airport

You at least know one person who is a drug dealer or knows somebody that does

You understand why a person with no job and no income can some how afford a double storey house

You’ve been to a birthday held at the local soccer club

A fair fight is 1 vs 20

Walking through Kensington doesn’t scare you

You know the phrase ‘Just bumming around’ does not refer to somebody's sexuality

House break-ins are just part of everyday life

The western suburbs has one of Australia’s best tattoo artists e.g Pete Norris

You’ve hung out at Willie Beach

You know about the ‘haunted house’ near the airport

You’ve taken your girlfriend/boyfriend to the airport lookout to ‘talk’

You’ve had at least 1 BBQ at Brimbank Park

You’ve had a drink at Anglars

For some uncanny reason it seems that somebody you know is always somebody else’s cousin

You know that being ‘fully sick’ doesn’t mean your unhealthy

It is likely your first car was either a Falcon, Corolla or a Commodore

Common names of kids you went to school with include Con, Mario, JC, CJ, RJ, PJ, JP, JR, Troung, Nam, Doung, Mario, Mohammed, Jim, Spiro

You know that Franco Cozzo Footscray isn't a furniture store..

You know when to roll your windows up when driving on the Western Ring Road

"Extreme Karibee" bags were used as school backpacks, and not for camping

The sight of bums on the street don't faze you... hey you probably went to highschool with them

When you want to buy something for cheap you go to the guy selling stuff out of his car boot at the local supermarket parking lot

You know that 'Doing time' does not mean getting a time out from your parents

You know that the Western Bulldogs were once the Foostcray Bulldogs... Go Doggies!!!

You know it has that other AFL team.. Essendon Bombers or something along those lines.. really can't remember

You have at least dumped one car at either Niddrie or Sunshine Quarry

You know that the roundabouts off Sharps RD are alright for late night drifting

You've been to Greenvale Hospital

Grabbing a bag of Ice does not mean going down to your local servo to fill up your esky

You know that Muzza talk and FOB speak are valid and real languages

You've seen 'Bitch please... i'm from the eastside/stheastside' and don't find it funny

You don't have to turn on your TV to watch 'Police Files Unlocked'

You've almost drowned at Melton Waves as a kid

You can sleep through the sound of cop/ambo's/fire fighter sirens, illegal fireworks, hoon burnouts, shootouts, house parties and drug raids like a baby

You know what the term 'Chasing' is

You know how to spot a 'Westie' mum

You know the best places for second hand crap is WestEnd Market or Laverton Market

When people post clips of fights on YouTube you probably were there when it happened

You refer to Deer Park as FearPark, Sunshine as Scumshine, St Albans as Stab Albans and Werribee as Hick-Town (no offense to the hicks in Werribee)

Kappa pants and bumbags... do i need to say more?

You know that '3021' isn't just a post code

You've tagged a bus stop or 4 when you were in high school

Instead of a Mr Whippy van, your street had a gelati van operated by a big Italian dude in a sweaty wife beater... and it was the best Gelati you've ever bloddy had

ACE Go-Karts.... enough said

Made your own spirits from alcohol cooking essence

Used a police scanner to keep the house party informed of patrols

You know that 7-eleven on ballarat rd sells "springer kits"

Found a pic of a school teacher in people or picture (true story)

You shopped at cash converters for a "present"

You remember Bourbon St... there'll never be one like it again

It's pronounced Knifepoint not Highpoint

You drink at the local lawn bowls club cos' Happy Hour pots are only $1.80

You lost your virginity after a night at Tudor Inn/Volt nightclub

The local bottle-o can read your hand signals for a 6 pack or slab

You know what the spraycan/plastic bag combo is used for

You have been to PURE to see one of the Big Brother
“Stars”...*cough*cough*

in other news I had a fucking hilarious conversation with a busdriver today about ticket inspectors. he wasn't exactly fluent in english, but snippets include:
"they waste money"
"they delay 40 minutes"
"they racist cunts, huh"
"i tell them international student been on two minute - not have time to buy ticket - getting money"
"they argue - is not my job to harass people for money - i drive bus"
"they pussy - not fine druggie users - too scared - instead target pensioner"
"told em to get off my fucking bus"

the mustard-coloured bus company have the best drivers in the world. i had one who was reading a broadsheet while simultaneously driving the bus and talking on his mobile. there's another one that plays the western-european radio station rather loudly.

let me draw your attention to the school budget/finance report.
something dodgy definitely going on.

2 million from 'locally raised funds'
and 250 thousand on 'salaries and allowances'
while 800 thousand goes to 'miscellaneous'

i think the bursar is involved with monies launderings. i think she just presumed nobody would read the financial report.

what more embarassing that calling the teacher mum?
something too embarassing to publish on the internets.

eating vitabrits/weetbix/aldi-brand-wheatcakes with sugar is just fucking weird.
i mean, you wouldn't drink water with a teaspoon/tablespoon/cup of sugar.

Q: What is Mormons Exposed?

A: Mormons Exposed is a new brand launching a forward-thinking product - a steamy 2008 calendar featuring twelve handsome former Mormon missionaries who have dared to pose bare-chested in the first-ever Men on a Mission calendar. Usually seen riding their bicycles and preaching door-to-door, the calendar celebrates these missionaries' great looks and beautiful bodies, as well as the amazing stories of service of these deeply spiritual men.

Q: What makes the Men on a Mission calendar so unique?

A: Behind the eye-candy, this calendar has a deeper story - one that can reshape perceptions, heighten awareness, and perhaps encourage and inspire a broadened acceptance of human and religious diversity. The fact that twelve young returned missionaries are posing shirtless will certainly raise eyebrows, but may also help to sort out some common misconceptions about Mormons. The shock value of what these traditionally conservative young men have helped to create has the power to build a dialogue that encourages people across every belief system and walk of life to defy stereotypes, step out of judgment and embrace tolerance.

"hey, these jeans are leaking dye everywhere, good thing i didn't put them in the sink with your accountant shirt" (kham)
"what are you talking about, didn't you know that, all jeans leak dye, people won't buy a pair of jeans that don't leak dye" (kiong)
"when was the last time you wore a pair of jeans"* (kham)


*i reality, i know the answer to this question, it was over ten years ago, workplace was having a jeans for genes day. they didn't fit. he put a belt on and hope nobody would notice. these days, ten years later, kiong is a 'trackies' man these days. i can only hope that in another ten years he'll be a 'wu-tang' pants man.

Building Musicality in Your Children
Tuesday 6 May 7.00-8.30pm 6 sessions
A class for parents or grandparents of babies and young children, to teach you how to build a love of music and foundation skills. No! You don‟t have to be able to sing!
Cost $65 con $58

only at the yarraville community centre.

i wonder if vincent of vincents vegetarian (read vegan*) is a real person, or is he simply a fictional character similiar to the like of mr.sheen or hubba/bubba.

i fucking love vincents. 500g tvp for less than two dollars.
also, insider knowledge, as well as a peak into the storeroom (where i identified at least three of the 'secret seasoning'), lead me to believe that the lord of the fires purchases from vincents (at those tvp prices, plus a jacking up of store prices its hard to see how they can justify a lowering of employee wages - if you have money to expand, you have money to pay a promised wage).

mr. vincent the vegetarian is truely a great man, for you see, all the other vegan food companies are hardley run by asian people (or at least asian people who make packaged vegan foodz), i mean where else are you meant to find vegan rojak sauce, intestine, chicken feet, and a various assortment of various non-animal offal (if you can technically call it that)


*i think its one of those translational things, like when your order plane food and it says "vegan vegetarian". i've never stumbles across anything in there that wasn't vegan.

ps/ the acca & g's main office is in caledonia lane, i can't be the only one who finds that hilarious

"don't say untrue things about me to my friends"
is apparently a rule which only works in one direction, and doesn't work the other way round.

sometimes people jsut keep their mouths shut to avoid pointless drama. sometimes they don't.
if you seriously think someone has never said anything bad of you. you delusional. it just hasn't gotten back to you. people who care about you have kept it to themselves because it was viscious and painful, and to tell would simply be vindictive.

meldrama is what passions is for.

little milan in all grown up and eighteen. rumour has it samuel bought him two square metres of polar-fleece.

prior to milans b-day celebrations i spent a few hours chillin with me grandmother. she hates fatty almost as much as i do. but not nearly as much as she despises my aunt and cousins.

in other news i saw perhaps one of the most crowd-popular busking performances i've ever seen, it also helps that they were on the same corner as the guy who listens to his ipod and sings along into a microphone.

giant snickers bar = waste of time and monies = not vegan

i don't like it - it looks too much like a twinkie.

uni markz: 67 H3

otherwise know as who gives a shit, i passed comfortably, and cos i'm in VCE thats all that matters.

pulp free orange juice. i don't like it. its not natural. juice come out friut ya know.
neither is 'never oily, never dry' peanut butter. quantum physics states that solids should seperate from liquids into layers. its the law.

emily clake of aduki (whom i've never actually met); if my memory serves me correctly the 2004 stage manager was a vegan named emily clark. 2 + 2 = ?

i got free tooth mousse. its not vegan. but there is literally no vegan-alternative for suffers of sensitive teeth.

many people poo-poo sensitive teeth. i hate to break it to you, but it can't all be fixed by using sensodyn and avoiding icecream.

went to get me teeth cleaned at the dentist. he offered me a local anaesthetic. i refused. i got the testicular fortitude. it was still fucking uncomfortable through.

i wonder how the federal government gets away with funding world youth day - and indeed the popes in prada shoes visit - what with the separation of powers and all that.

quote from police officer on channel nine news regarding protesters who do not want dennis fergeson in their community:
"listen mate i've arrested more pedophiles than you've had hot meals"
here's the kicker: he was talking directly to a person of a aboriginal descent.

long story short: i have a pair or shmuel underwear which i now have to find a hiding spot for -lest kiong stumble upon them.

the elongated, less sleazy sounding version:
i did a very silly thing. i wore these really warm thigh-high socks instead of my usualy winter double-layer of tights. and i was nice and warm, and everything was fine, despite it being rather wet and windy outside. and then i sat at the bus-shelter. i think my trunk hass lost some of its junk as a result of frostbite. couldn't be bothered walking back to the flat. caught bus to shmuels house.

the plan was you see, we were going to go the east brunswick club, where we would masticate vegan parmas for 'din dins'. then to proceed onto the public bar where would drink the beer and observe the non-vegans drunk of the non-vegan dollar pots and 4-50 jugs.

there was no way i was going to be sitting on cold metal benches all night so the smokers could smoke. the thing was, shmuel live in a bachelor pad, four males and no clothes which would fit kham. it was very cold that monday night.

the only thing we could find the would both fit and insulate my upper thighs were underpants. which ended up looking more like shorts (despite the odd shape they fell in due to a lack of testicles) on kham.

we took public transport. it didn't seem like an appropriate place to return borrowed underwear worn as outerwear (under a dress).

i wonder what they would have said, had i been hit buy a bus.

fucking dickheads, turn off the water for six hours and not tell anybody. its a health issue. i had to go down to the shop to purchase drinking water.

kiong had a 50 minute cry about china and tibet tonight. apparently "all these ignorant fuckers don't understand (dramatic pause) tibet will always belong to china" and "the delai lama is like fucking mugabe".


ps/ i'm pretty sure he's wrong, i'm pretty sure mugabe doesn't have gucci sandals.

its one of those horrid ethical dilemas, where society is faced to choose one of their values over the other:
do we support lord of the fries because they promote veganism...
or...
do we condemn them for their explotation of workers.

its certainly a dilly-of-a-pickle.

doesn't make me wanna run out and eat chicken...

"there are some positives to gentrification you know"
yeah, the people in st.kilda will stop winging cos they will have moved to the newest artist/bohemian/hispter area.

"i'm pretty sure that guys selling drugs, why else would four lots of dodgy looking people have popped in in the last couple of hours" (samuel gestures to the flat across the 'courtyard')

"of couse they are, i went to get the paper the other morning and someone was sleeping on their doormat"

"i can't believe you like trashy reality television"
(20 minutes into wife-swap)
"this is hilarious, these people can't be serious"

i'm going to presume this was written before medusa piercings became popular.

"thats a bit eighties" (a fruit platter contructed to resemble a foot high lark)
"thats a bit chinese restaurant" (tomato rosettes and a fish constructed into a tower with the head placed atop)

went out to 'din dins' with the fobs. apparently shen put all his kids names down for scotch and melbourne grammar when they were born but he ended up sending them to essendon grammar cos it was closer but scotch and melbourne grammar won't stop sending him four sets of junk mail, one for each of his kids. the thing is, his kids are in grades 1,3 and 5 and pre-school and they can't exactly speak english.

fatty: (to kenneth the waiter) 'what's that dipping sauce and tongs for?'
kenneth: 'ummmm... you use it to wash your hands and to thats for cracking the shell of shellfish'
fatty: 'ewwww... that disgusting.get me a VB'
i'm pretty sure as soon as kenneth returned to the kitchen he started bitching in mando to all the other staff about the stupid rude fat fucker on out table.

lasagna: not something i associate with doufu


and frankly, it sounds kinda gross and, well, 'vegan' with all the negative 60s connotations.

dear lord:
Obama, by Versace: candidate inspires Donatella's new style

The fashion world is falling head-over-heels for Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle. Donatella Versace has called the Democratic candidate "the man of the moment", and dedicated her entire spring-summer 2009 menswear collection to him. The Italian designer said she was creating a style for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power".


She even had some fashion tips for Mr Obama, saying: "I would get rid of the tie and jazz up the shirt." Whether Mr Obama will be daring enough to take to the campaign trail attired in shiny suits with skinny lapels teamed with beige leather flip-flops remains to be seen. The collection he inspired was shown in Milan at the weekend and featured no ties, while conventional shirts were replaced with silk scoop-neck T-shirts.

Mr Obama has described his dress sense as "fairly standard" and said that he owned only five suits and four pairs of shoes*. But designers are hoping the stylish couple win in November and that the rather middle-aged style of the Bush White House is consigned to history. Laura Bush likes the well-coiffed matronly look while her husband is happiest as an urban cowboy.

* i wonder if he also has a 'casual friday' like the allen-man


ps/ did anybody else see the short-man and 2:35 on friday in his suit with his dress-shirt unbottoned three buttons down and his grey chest hair running something rampant.

pps/ apparently african-americans, from the actual continent of africa within the past few generations (not from compton) are proportionately the highest educated of all americans (including the azn-americans) which is why i'll say it again: 'barrack obama = not black' (less black than kham is azn in actual fact)

why can't welfarists and abolitionists just all get along?
because welfarists are typically yuppies attempting to buy a social conscience.

apparently in the latest social drama surrounding bickering animal rights academics (which i'm sure you all follow intentently), torres tried to set up a podcast debate between singer and francione. singer declined. i guess he's just too big these days. and i think he's a little jealous because he doesn't have an unoffical fan-club with a snazzy website.

if you've ever tried to decipher a fob on the phone you'll know its damn confusing.
and at times embarrasing. i spent about ten minutes thinking i was talking to the uncle ahlek who works for emirates and can never seen to grasp the concept of time zones always calling in the middle of the night, with the uncle shen who goes to the wholesale market with his truck at 3am everyday and hence always manages to call at inappropriate times also.


*note: neither of these men are actually uncles, but very distant relatives whom nobody quite grasps how we are related to

i'm totally getting one for sam.

madden:

"has anybody read hamlet"
(no response)
"does anybody know the story of hamlet"
(still no response)
"hamlet was... well, i guess you could say he was emo"


"so it was considered socially unacceptable that this journalist described carson kresly as a pillow-biter...
do you all know what that term means: 'pillow biter'...
do you need me to explain that to you..."
(no response and a look of desperation that somebody would bail her out of describing the logistics anal intercourse)

kham: "you can't say curry loudly on the train, people are staring at us, if it weren't for gillian they'd think we were racist"

gillian: "i don't care i hate curries, they're so freakin annoying"

shu-yu: "but its not racist, people say it all the time"

kham: "garveymeister would not approve on public transport, can't you just say of indian, sri lanka, pakistani descent"

girl whos name i forgot: "but what about the bengalis"

shu-yu: "fine. asian of non-oriental-arabic descent"


chess banter represent.

ps/ gillians indian in case you didn't gather, she wan't to be a civil engineer and everything.

there are only two films which i have ever turned into a crying sissy-boy during.

kiong cried during stewart little, finding nemo and indeed, bridget joneses diary.
there are numerous others, but these are the only ones i can remember off the top of my head.

the first film was the lion king. when simba's father was trampled by a stampede of antelope.
the second was earthlings. despite it's slightly tacky 10 min introduction.

just want to clear something up:
just as there is no ham in a hamburger,
no apple in a pineapple,
no strawberry in a strawberry milkshake...

...there is no butter in peanut butter - you don't keep it in the fridge - you didn't 'spring' me eating something non-vegan

Hello Katherine,

Just letting you know that I have made a dental appointment for you with the Chinese dentist in West Footscray for Wed. 2 July at 12 o'clock. Let me know if you can't make this and I will get another time for you - if you don't give sufficient cancellation time they can charge the fee anyway.

Regards,
Maureen

sweet jesus we have a shitty relationship.

i wonder if santorum is in the dictionary?

"if i was a sheep, i'd rather be screwed than stewed"

what a fucking sensationalist piece of scum.
with poultry production its pretty much either a case of you don't know or you don't care. evidently he doesn't care.

i guess after he needed something new after his last, morally-superior, soapbox cause failed miserably.

"i would do more exercise, but it makes me horny" - kiong.

finished midyears. went out drinking.
realised i had two days to submit my uni mid-year piece of assesment.

2000 words on natural philosophy = 1800 words of wank.

might take part of the day off school tomorrow. needs to be in some box somewhere by 4 pm. tram from school not fast enough.

eating mapo doufu. is good. wrecks your innards though.


so i was totally at the cit-lib sat-day mourning and guess who i bumped into. in the philosophy section.

it was something of a throw my hands over my face while screeching ''don't look at me".

the infamous hg. looking for nietzhe for writing nietzhe summaries. makes you feel like even more of a lazy mole*
on the upside of perousing the *cough*(wanker) section i stubled upon a copy of sacred cows and golden geese.

*in the literal sense, those animals that look like furry piglets.

carpet burn.

apparently you can now purchase what peta have labelled a “totally cruelty-free” option at canadian KFCs, a faux-chicken sandwhich with non-vegan mayonaise.

i seriously hope the alv group outside the CBD KFC who hand out peta pamphlets don't support this bullcrap.

i could rant about this, but frankly, francione does a better job than i could.

i think asian babies are cuter than anglo bodies.

i guess that makes me a bad person.

then again, anglo-centric nurses thought i had downsydrone when i was born (i didn't - i just had an asian face)

i ate two breakfeasts before the gat so i wouldn't feel hungry, and i still felt hungry.

after gat:
went to bottle shop.
went to eat dumplings. (and drank beer. and paid corkage.)
went to the workshop. (and drank beer.)
went to the yarra lounge. (and drank long island ice teas. and drank sangria.)
went to seddon. (and drank a chocolate soy milk)

overhear, on the tram to FC:

"so did ya end up going to yer exam"

"nah, had to go bail me boyfriend out"

exams are totally over, so what to do now that something appears to be missing from my life...
why, start studying for end-of-years of couse.

alas, there were no lord of the rings, doctor who, or star wars references in the physics exam. nor were there any questions asking you to draw the mullet on tom as he jumps up and down on a trampoline.

some people looked like they were about to cry when chem finished.
i looked like i had to sneeze... possibly as i did.
but as i'm sure you will all know, the hall is very echo-y, and my sneezes are damn loud and supposedly 'hilarious'.

ps. and besides, everyone knows cirrhosis isn't a real disease.

i get it now,

if you pay your taxes, people dependant on the welfare system are indebted to you.

eggo, rhymes with leggo.

... i don't get it.

Rihanna Sparkle Slender 'brella Fashion Umbrella NEW!

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its all true.

Trump Vodka. The Donald’s offering promises to be worthy of the Trump name by being “the world’s finest super premium vodka.” Not enough hyperbole? It’s also “quintuple-distilled” and “the epitome of vodka that will demand the same respect and inspire the same awe as the international legacy and brand of Donald Trump himself.” Available in original, citron, raspberry, orange, and grape.

http://www.chow.com/stories/11094

there is something truely abhorrent about silicone madelein pans.

when you go to aldi, there's always at least one person buying bulk quantities of packaged foods...
and yoou just think to yourself, does the man with the 32 cans of 'braised steak and onions' and 20 boxes of frozen 'heat-and-eat' 'curry' just not know how to cook
your second thought is usually, how could someone live like that?

after six sausages and six potatoes,
"i'm still hungry, can we go to the chicken shop?"

some people just don't know when to quit. fatty is one such person.

"before the program began 67.5 per cent of the school's [sunshine colledge] 1000 students were reading at primary-school level. That figure has dropped to 49.6 per cent." ~ from the herald sun learn section

in primary school i was given a choice of footscray city, maribrynong secondary, gilmour girls and sunshine colledge.
everyone wanted to go to footscray. but they turn away soo many kids. most of them could only get in because they alread had an older brother/sister at the school.

molly: "i have six chickens in my fridge"

(15 second pause...)

kham: "ohhh, you mean dead chickens"


i'm not overexaggerating, this was literally the procession of events, and despite common belief, it was a subconscious vegan outburst.

its cos people would usually say 'i have chicken in my fridge', not 'i have chickens in my fridge'

i think i've finally managed to find something more hideous than birkenstocks...

birkenstocks by heidi klum

where the fuck is my 'making of dracula' film.
i did all the heavy lifting, with my little girlie arms because certain members of crew thought it essential that DVD be complete on time.
six months later - still waiting for my DVD

horrid incidence today walking home from rehersal.
approx 8pm.

kham walks to the 472 busstop.
"hey gorgeous, had a nice night?"
fucking deros waiting at the busstop.
"yep"
walk past.
"how old are ya lovely?"
don't look back.
"fifteen"
keep walking.
"bullshit, yer fucking lying"
keep walking.
"oi. i'm fuckin talkin to ya"
he starts walking after me.
keep walking.

at this points its 50m of obscenities before he gives up and goes back to his chumps.

keep walking. all the way home. no 'safe' bus/tram stops.

how do i know all the 'seeking roomate' advertisments near my flat are written by fobs?
they spell 'close to transport', 'clouse to transport' (twice in the same sentence)

12 - 8 rigging tomorrow.
i aint staying still 8. no fucking way. not unless i can get a lift or a cabcharge. its kinda ridiculous, getting the train to seddon/yarravile then catching a taxi back through footscray.

is it just a tad ironic that i'm perhaps the only person doing west side story that is actually from the west side?

i'v gone and gotten myself a fucking whistling nose.

apparently this whole time i've been thinkin miss van was a total sellout, turns out i was wrong... she was only a partial sellout (i was mistaking her for someone else).
still, gotta feel bad for someone who gets their style poorly imitated in commercial ventures such as apple computers and mac cosmetics advertisments.

being the tech-savy whiz-kid that i am, i'm one of those new-aged sexuals who can no loger write with a pen for longer than ten minutes at a time.

so here i was, hand writing an eng-lang practice essay, with all attempts being made to remain legible.

ang being the new aged sexual that i am, i was multitasking you see, eating my tom yum soup while proofing my essay... and then in happened, i sluped chilli oil all over my papers... there's a grease mark on my page... i hope they don't think i'm a fatty

its like when you're reading a book, and you find chocolate fingerprints inside and your immediate though is fatty... thats how people are going to think of me.

from toothpaste for dinner.

red velvet cake simply isn't a real cake,
by the same logic i could add blue fod dye to a stir-fry and claim i've invented a new dish.

kiong has to be the only person who doesn't think engineering or law are real degrees or that you can made monies in sed profession.

apparently everyone does it and nobody talks about it...
yes, i'm talking about copyrighting resources which one would take into an exam (bound reference and A4 sheets).
quite silly really, considering teachers are offenders no.1 when it comes to photocopying things which they really shouldn't be...

well i know i voted for LOTF, coopers, and cheezley
which reminds me, despite my letters i am yet to see the vegan chocolate bars from LOTF find their way into a light batter coating then into a deep fat fryer.
where the hell else will the people get deep fried vegan chocolate bars when drunk in the city at four am?

Mac & Cheese
"A blend of finely chopped beef, pork and our unique spices, to which we add diced cheese and macaroni noodles for a tasty luncheon treat. Try a piece heated for a change. "

Ingredients: "Beef and Pork, Water, Pasteurized Process Cheese (Cheddar Cheese (milk, cheese culture, salt, enzymes.), water, sodium phosphate, salt, sorbic acid (preservative), apo-carontenal (color).), Macaroni (semolina, niacin, ferrous sulfate (iron), thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin.), Nonfat Dry Milk, Corn Syrup, Salt, Red Sweet Peppers (bell peppers, water, citric acid.), Spices, Dextrose, Dehydrated Onions, Sodium Erythorbate, Spice Extractives, Garlic Powder, Sodium Nitrite."


Macaroni & Cheese Loaf - Baked - Bulk
"A blend of beef and pork along with our unique spices to create a base mix. To this mix we add diced cheese and macaroni noodles form it into a loaf, smoke it using natural hardwoods for a unique Koegel taste. This product is a vacuum packed loaf weighing approximately six pounds and is meant for the deli to slice."

Ingredients: "Beef and Pork, Water, Pasteurized Process Cheese (Cheddar Cheese (milk, cheese culture, salt, enzymes.), water, sodium phosphate, salt, sorbic acid (preservative), apo-carontenal (color).), Macaroni (semolina, niacin, ferrous sulfate (iron), thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin.), Nonfat Dry Milk, Corn Syrup, Salt, Red Sweet Peppers (bell peppers, water, citric acid.), Spices, Dextrose, Dehydrated Onions, Sodium Erythorbate, Spice Extractives, Garlic Powder, Sodium Nitrite."


Pickle Loaf - Baked - Bulk
"A blend of finely chopped beef, pork and our unique spices, to which we add diced cheese and macaroni noodles for a tasty luncheon treat. Try a piece heated for a change. "

Ingredients: "Beef and Pork, Water, Sweet Pickles (Cucumbers, Sugar, Salt, Vinegar, Spices, Alum, Turmeric & Polysorbate 80, Blue #1, 1/10 of 1% Benzoate of Soda), Nonfat Dry Milk, Corn Syrup, Salt, Red Sweet Peppers (bell peppers, water, citric acid.), Spices, Dextrose, Dehydrated Onions, Sodium Erythorbate, Spice Extractives, Garlic Powder, Sodium Nitrite."

how embarassing, i got grease on my physics A4 sheets, i hope the examiners don't think i'm a fatty while they drink their diet pepsi and write stupid questions about legolas firing his bow at a certain trajectory at an ork.

whatever happened to those chocolate oranges...

awe-some:

eveytime i see that damn saab advertisment i can never remember what its actually for and this somehow leads me to believe its about animal rights: you know the one, where they try and link chained and caged animals trying to escape with a car.

westbourne grammar (truganini): 100% VCE pass rate

the thing is, has fabulous as a educating students to a level where they can complete three units of english sound fantastic. when student who don't look like they're going to pass get to yr 10-11 they're told: "we don't think this is the right school for you, maybe you should consider moving schools"

fatty got told in yr 7 that he should be grateful the school allowed him to attend, normally the sibling policy only applies if you older sister is still at the school and didn't piss of after yr8 cos she couldn't stand the crap.

fatty got told in yr 8 (he must be a real badass) that perhaps westbourne wasn't the best school for him - my parents refused to put him in the public education system - the school suggested he get additional tutoring in english and math to pass

kiong: "do you want me to cook chicken kiev"
andrew: "no. i don't like chicken kiev."
kiong: "how come you suddenly don't like chicken kiev?"
andrew: "i don't want to eat chicken kiev becuase i don't want to be a fat shit like will and they said on the biggest loser if you deep fry things they absorb fat and they make you fat - and somebody deep fried a mars bar - and somebody ate it"

according to wikipedia:
"Chicken Kiev is a dish of boned chicken breast pounded and rolled around cold unsalted butter, then breaded and fried."

it's one of fatties favorite foods, he likes to serve it dipped in melted butter (i'm not joking, i really couldn't make shit like that up)

totally did not go onto brother's school intranets to nick resources.

it's like english language and an illegitimate and misunderstood child with the west wing:

"Julian Thomas on the language and political theatre of The West Wing" - on lingua franca

http://www.abc.net.au/rn/linguafranca/stories/2007/1913539.htm

i'll stop faking allergies on two conditions:
1. people take orders properly
2. people stop lying to me

a $10 million dollar refurbishment and the best Bistro Guillame could come up with is gaping, light-emitting, anus's suspeded from the ceiling.

o i never did tell you what fatties sport of choice is...

the people upstairs are having sex.

like really loudly.

with spanking.

and i know this is going to sound a little odd, a perhaps even racist in this modern live-a-day world, but they indian/pakistani/srilankin and i can tell that from the accent of their sex noises.

so sue me.

there's a difference between being a picky eater and being a vegan, some people just don't seem to get that however

"what with all the nice dressing today?"(this is actually how he speaks = fob)
"what are you talking about"
"usually you dress like emo"

~ Kiong

does anybody know how to get on to city library wireless?

i could ask the staff, but then i'd have to speak to someone in a grown up voice and everything.

its nice to have something to show that you're moving up in the world:

i've gone from having bedsheets as curtains, to having newspaper as curtains and now i have a betsheet as a window (ie. where there once was glass, there is now flanelette of a nice very favorable threadcout)

in other news, james drank a liter of cranberry juice, my litre of cranberry juice.

my mother had a fit,

"They seriously said that? That's completely inappropriate? Why does my business as of 10:30 in the morning have to do with them? They had no right to ask you why i wasn't working?"

for those of you whom i haven't explained this to, i will, honestly later, but i just got in, and i'm tired.

gotta love TVP:

The top 10 vegetarian cookbooks that haven't been written yet:

10) The Other Vegetarian Cookbook
9) Yak-free Cooking
8) Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaliant Vegetarian Meals
7) Screw You, Dean Ornish: Dr. Shiv's Guide to Deep-fried Living
6) Eat More, Weigh More
5) Just Google the Main Ingredient Already
4) You're Better Than They Are
3) Beyond Smoothies: The Slurpy Joe Cookbook
2) Eat Meat and Love the Cock
1) So Many Friggin' Beans!

okay, so a certain douch who i won't mention...
lets just say his name stars with a 'j' and ends with an 'ethro' and daddy doesn't quite love him as much as he loves his other children (but that won't stope him changing his name to profit off daddy's)

was being a dickhead, greasing off shamuel, while grasping a sun ra vinyl...

its no wonder i'm going grey...

i never thought i'd have to live to see the day i would be living in a house (well, brick flat) with the newspaper stuck to the windows.

slightly disturbing, yet erotic at the same time...

i often sit and wonder to myself, "how many cannibals could my body feed?"

whatever will all the wankers do now that the polaroid corporation is ceasing to produce polaroid film (get with the times i can only hope).

I'm not a racist but...
I'm not a feminist but...
i'm not a vegan but...

the kind of think only noor (and possibly lars) could appreciate: every single episode of lost retold in lolspeak.

now i got no problem with mormons,
its rapping (gangsta-style) mormons that broadcast the sound wave pollution over a loudspeaker and into my bedroom.

guess what fatties sport of choice is, guess, no really, guess.

edgewater = full of wankers.
just cos their houses have that classic 00' brick-rendering combination, they think they're immune from the scum 50m down the road.
it's bullshit.

what's the chance samuel's manly friends will decide to take him to a 'tittty' bar? and could i actually care?

at what point do you quit comprimising and say to yourself, "this is fucking lazy/disgusting":

i somehow, all by myself, managed to slam my head in the fridge door.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/books/elite-girls-school-cadet-ban-sexist/2008/03/15/1205472164043.html

Elite girls' school cadet ban 'sexist'
Deborah Gough
March 16, 2008

AN ELITE girls' school has been accused of sexual discrimination by its own students after banning its army cadet program.

Angry MacRobertson Girls' School students who participated in the cadet program say they were aware several teachers were openly hostile to their involvement, with one student alleging the 30 cadets were compared to "Hitler Youth".

MacRobertson Girls' High School principal Jane Garvey informed the cadets that the program would cease at the end of the year after a school council decision in November.

The girls allege that the ban is sexual discrimination as it prevents them from continuing in the cadet program with brother school, Melbourne High School.

The girls, dressed in military attire, would participate in drills at Melbourne High and attend skills camps.

Year 12 student and cadet under officer Bridget Pianta said some teachers objected to girls taking part in any military activity. "You would think that with a school's ethos that girls can do anything that boys can that they would be encouraging it, especially something that encourages leadership in girls," she said.

The highest ranked officer in the cadets, the regimental sergeant major, is a girl from the select-entry, single-sex government school.

"It seems to me that it was politically sensitive and by closing the program they hoped it would go away," Ms Pianta said.

Ms Pianta, who helped initiate the program in 2005, said it was widely known that two teachers were overheard calling the cadets "Hitler's Youth".

The Sunday Age has independently verified the comment from the student who heard the teachers speaking. After the student made a complaint, it was alleged that the male teacher "had not meant it". "Many of the teachers there are way left of Marxism and I am fine with that if they are honest. But don't try and come across all PC and say you accept others if you don't," the former student said.

In a letter, Ms Garvey told the girls that the program would not continue because it was disruptive and had been subject to administration problems. It was also difficult to find a teacher to supervise the program. A teacher has subsequently been found to run it for the rest of the year.

Melbourne High School principal Jeremy Ludowyke confirmed that his school's council had written to MacRob asking it to allow the year 10 to 12 girls already enrolled to complete their training. He said male and female students benefited enormously from the program, which has been running at Melbourne High for more than 100 years.

Repeated attempts by The Sunday Age to contact Ms Garvey for comment failed.

somebody will be in the garveymeister/aps office tomorrow.

its the healthy sugar-free alternative, packed with vitamins and minerals...

here's a hot tip, if you happen to be undertaking a uni enhancement, you can get the age home delivered for $20 (the whole year). and i was actually suprised nobody from one of the other flats nicked mine this week which was a pleasant surprise.

my lectures are full of men who wear those shorts which are meant to be an alternative to 'budgie-snugglers/smugglers' with thongs while walking round the metropolis with no itention of going any closer to water than the urinal in the mcdonald restroom.
there's also the occasional psudo-socialist, psudo-intellectual with dredlocks, but hell, what uni lecture doesn't have dreadlock and a cliche guevara t-shirt.

what the hell is it with asian people and linkin park?

samuel 'packing'
(something other than socks down his pants)*

"put this on your blog so everyone will know how tough and manly i am"

so that what i did.
i can only follow by making a snide comment: you know what they say about men with big guns...





*get it: joke at the expense of his 'manhood'