my mother cannot cook pasta. as in boil the water. put the dried pasta in the boiling water. drain. eat.

i visited me mum the other day. she asked me to cook pasta. james at half the packet. two full large 'asian soup bowls'* of penne. then he was still hungry. apparenlty in my dillusioned state I thought a large bad of dried pasta would feed a 50kg 50yr-old, a grade one and a year 7. apparently not. james then made himself four slices toast.

my family scares me sometimes. and thats not even including fatty. my mother's hous goes through three litres of milk a day. because of that they buy long-life milk - by the case - it's just not viable to toddle of to the shops to get 3L every morning. she has three cases in storage.

the thing with that is my mother doesn't drive. and she may be straight outta west-footscray. but no way in hell are they going to be shopping trolleys lined up me mothers front yard. she takes a baby-less pram when buying bulk long-like the milk. the downside is. she looks insane.



*think of the largest pho bowl you could image.