from vice student guide

Welcome to university! Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Forever!
Let's raise a toast!
To the science students: Well done in making the informed choice to study esoteric theories dreamt up by totally insane professors that may or may not even exist!
To the arts and humanities crowd: Get back to us when you've worked out the secrets of life by smoking pot, daubing paint on your trousers and reading books written by hippies and alcoholics who committed suicide at the age of 35!
To the business students: Be careful about the "blowing-off-steam-at-the-weekend" you're going to have to do for the the rest of your life because your shitty office job is like living in Guantanamo Bay. Only without the sex!