today: went round to the brothel house, borghouts was down, he escorted me to my house to ensure I didn't get rapes - how lovely
yesterday: got a crew together, went to the night markets - ent to equinox first, several jopkes about amy and cherries
tuesday: stayed home (??? - don't actually remember what i did)
monday: stayed home (??? - don't actually remember what i did)
sunday: stayed at sachas - watched "into the void" - worst movie ever
saturday: stayed at lances- watched "daybreakers"
friday: stayed at nicks in torquay
thursday: went round to brothel house; got royally fucked - there are pictures to prove it
wednesday: nick pelly was down, went to marias, then sams then sachas
- maria still makes the most delicious food ever
- ran into nado on the train - too drunk to remmeber what he said
- remember being drunk to the stage where I didn't remeber what tram to get on or where to get off to get to sachas house
- apparently i spent most of the evening persoanlly attacking sacha and pointing out every single one of his character flaws = i have no recolection of this
tuesday: nick pally down, went to sams then sachas

its really super annoying when friends try and hit on you.

i have several theories. the dominating one at my current state of drunkardness is as follows:

its really scary when people presume you're dating someone. and you're not. and there was no expectations and no commitments. but everyone thinkgs there is.

type "worst band in the world" into google. seriously. do it.

hey noor,

I'll be seeing you tomorrow!

classic quote from kham's fully fobbed up father:

in response to some pretty bad bruises,

"oh, I see you've gotten up to page 278 of the karma sutra; whatever you do don't try page 300, my back has never been the same since"

ye-ah boyzzz.  just got myself an invite to the op shop christmas party!!!

"i'm going to footscray. i hope I don't get stabbed or come back with addidas trackies."

http://lipmag.com/culture/we%E2%80%99ll-talk-post-feminism-in-the-post-patriarchy/

interesting. particularly is you're kham.

I haven't posted anything witty or intellectual in awhile...

 this is actually because I've been getting dumberer.

one too many knocks to the head me thinks.

don't you hate it when you're trying to internet stalk someone and google isn't giving you anything back?

sacha gave me a pair of underpants. this would have been fine. except that they weren't my underpants.

Also, WHEN THE FUCK HAVE I EVER WORN LACY UNDERPANTS!!!

not quite as bad as the time samuel gave me size 14 underpants. but still.

samuel took my phone when i wasn't looking and sent a bunch of people a bunch of text messages. he then ent on to delete said text messages so I have no idea who he sent what.

alls i know is the responses I get, so far the most hilarious one ensues:
" I choose to believe that my sexual prowess is such that I physically break the people I sleep with, leaving them inoperable for weeks"

Pharmacology Lecturer: "What will I be doing this weekend? Waiting for World of Warcraft Cataclysm and playing a retribution paladin!" *Waves Sword around*

http://vimeo.com/9924049

a black eye AND herpes on my face!!!


i'll be the most beautiful girl at prom

everyone wants to know why girls like boys who are cunts.

it's a common misconception. see, the reality is that everyone is a cunt. you just have to dig a hell of alot deeper to find it in some people.

my theory is, the smart ones go for the cunts because you know what you're getting (the dumb ones are just dumb). it's a hell of alot easier than feeling betrayed and lied to when you realise, that really, everyone is just a cunt.

the end.

melbourne to warragul = 117km
warragul to bunyip = 30km

"fat is not just a reserviour of uglyness" - lecturer quote

"you go out to the western suburbs and you see fat kids" - lecturer quote

best lecture title ever: "fat, sex and your brain"

"and i looked over at sam getting really upset and worried about you - and then i thought to myself, thank god I don't give a shit"

"theres alot of asians in this room" - lecturer

http://www.cracked.com/article_17428_7-ridiculously-over-top-modifications-deadly-weapons.html

7 * the awesome!

http://laughingsquid.com/defibrillator-toaster/

amazing!

sunshyne. no shit. someone (from altona) named their kid 'sunshyne'.

cut my hand open quite badly trying to open a can without a can opener.
there was blood all over the kitchen.

Kham: "Lance, go get me one of those boys who wants to have sex with me".

since last blogging: i fixed my bed. i broke it again.

cock-blocked blondie the other night. awkward.

the 60yo arab man sitting next to me at the library has more facebook friends than i do.
i'm feeling pretty lame right now.

took a shower today. found a curly blond pube in my armpit.

so i may have broken my bed having sex.

I really dislike med people on the whole.
I'm sitting in wholefoods right now listening to a bunch of them piss and moan and bitch. i don't think they realise i can hear them.

they're having a winge about how ugly some girl is. it's so fucking juvenile. serious, what the fuck, we're 2 years out of highschool. except doing med is like never leaving highschool.

what have i done since my final exam on thursday:
thursday evening - went to PFE at nectar lounge with med people, went to old bar afterwards, met stuntman mike (alcoholic, dolebludger, kept getting up in my personal space, insane) who managed to knock over every single chair in the bar on his way out the door
friday evening - met up with ella, went to hells kitchen, then bellas, then pony, went to sleep at 7am
saturday evening - slept to 7:30pm (didn't end up going home), went to dondons, went to bellas again, went to old bar again (they broke out the black flag on this particular occasion), went to alias once old bar closed
sunday evening - went to red triangle, watched world cup. played scrabble, cludo and jenga. cludo was an epic failure.
monday evening - went home to do some cleaning, went to bimbos

why does anyone care?

i don't think anyone does to be honest.

totally not blogging about my sex life.
why? because i'm mature. amongst other things.
also, i've heard that certain people don't like it when write about them on the internets.

real reason: my father has started facebook stalking me.

hitting up footscray bahn mi tomorrow. hells yeah.

list of things i did instead of studying for exams:
- go on something similiar to chat-roulette, but without the webcam, with my father (drunk)
- got a flat tyre (not drunk, i swears)
- make sambal with my father (drunk)
------ i believe at one stage he informed me "don't sucking cock after eating sambal" and "oh, make sure you wash your hands aswell"

so, currently taking bets on whether or not i will pass.

also, very annoyed. turns out i didn't have to go to the chinese exam. apparently when you do an arts degree you don't have to go to exams and you can still pass. considering i didn't go to half my chinese tutes and in general can't speak chinese, i'm a tad suprised that i've already passed.

that's all i have to say

i know i've probably said this before (almost certainly on numerous occasions), but sam can be a real cunt sometimes.

doing venepuncture next week. wish i had tom's number right now.

fuck you. i've heard was too much fur elise in my life. i don't need someone hammering it out on the piano right now. it's kinda beyond a cliche.

peter michael andrew keeps peering over my screen to see what I am typing.
this lecturer is very difficult to follow. but he does have a funny german accent.

ran into josh today. it was awkward. possibly because i think he was trying to pick up and i may have been cock-blocking him.

he's starting to look increasingly like a dirty hippie.

lecture quotes:

nothing in life lasts. you may have a car crash. get a divorce. loose your husband. loose your wife...


.... but herpes, you have that for life

people in med (and broader life) ....

...don't seem to get that drugs have been around for years. that chances are their parents took drugs. and had group sex and were wankers for a period. it's just not new. not cool. not different. not rebellious. just the same crap everyone else has done for the past 40 years.

sam can be a real cunt sometimes.

where the hell is our lecturer?

 I wish i could dedicate my life to something this productive:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ezZgAl6aN8

just a bit sad...

Hey guys. I play bass in the band the monster goes rawrr. I met two of your reps at the rain hail and shine festival at jimboomba last weekend. I just wanted to say thanks or doing what you are, my uncle died of aids and it is great to see poeple out there spreading awareness especially amongst young people. If there's anything I can do to help out up here in brissy let me know! Hope to see you in melbourne one day. Thanks again guys. Ross

where the hell did my day go.

got up. went to uni. bought a book. sat in a lecture theatre with less than 50 people (there are meant to be 300). met max at the bar at 12. meant to go to a lecture 2. looked at my clock. realised it was 2:30. though fuck it. looked at my clock again when it read 4:30. left the university bar. looked at my clock it read 6:30. went to the city with max to chill with adam and milan at equinox. got the train home with milan. looked at my clock it read 10:30pm. what the fuck happened.

in other news, ran into josh on my way through wholefoods to the bar. had a quick and normal chat. he seemed normal. too normal. almost as if he wasn't stoned.

ran into one of josh's friends at the bar. his name escapes me. he made a comment about how for someone doing med i seem to do an aweful lot of chillin. oh well.

milan gave me a slightly drunk bike riding lesson (i don't know how to ride a bike). i was very much scared for the most part of it.

awkward number 2.

on the wholefoods balcony. someone asked me if was josh's ex. i gave them a puzzled face.
someone everyone at the table seemed to be down on this. and they all seemed to misinterpret my puzzled expression. "oh shit" "way to let that one slip"

and then it got awkward. i didn't want to have explain to his friends that i looked puzzle because i didn't realise i was his ex. so i just kind of mumbled something and said don't worry about it. and then josh appeared and it was awkward.

awkward shit.

i was dumped. by someone I didn't know i was dating.

i seem to be getting a great deal of spam on this blog, including:

"Doing on work and not enjoying pleasures like kisses, touches and romance can make a person psychologically disturbed."
"the experience will be so real that it will almost like a real date"

http://kham-ing.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-lost-choral-but-what-else-is-new.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJAbCuwcWxo&feature=player_embedded

so i missed the memo and am now at uni. the memo read something like "there is not uni on tuesday".

I got a letter from centrelink saying i had to notify them of any scholarships i was recieving and that i might be eligible for more scholarships because of the new legislation.

firstly, I tried for 3 days to get onto the youth services line but it was completely full so the phone just rang out (i couldn't even get in the que). ended up having to call the pensioner and ask to speak to an operator to get onto somone.

secondly, i got onto a woman who took down the details of my scholarship but said she didn't actually now anything about what was happening to the scholarships and so transferred me onto another woman

thirdly, the next woman said the other woman had recorded me as being ineligible for one of the new scholarship (when she should have put me down as being eligible). this woman told me that my 6k scholarship would remain untouched and i would get a one-off 650 scholarship amount paid into my account.

it's all very confusing.

it was a damn long call. good thing i'm on a cap or the bill would be through the roof.

awkward moment with my mother the other night. it started like this, "i keep finding things in the rubbish, and i just thought i should remind you to think about what you put in the bin".

now this may sound perfectly harmless, but if you know my mother (as i do), you would cotton on to the fact that this is her way of telling me i've been sprung doing something i haven't. that she's found some kind of contraband in the bin.

but what could it be, smoking, drinking, sex-having related parephenalia...

it was bugging me, what did i leave in the bin?
"so what what did you actually find" i ended up asking.
she refused to answer. possibly because it would have been awkward.




after a couple of days i finally realised what she was on about. she thought my brothers chewing gum packets were rubber packets.

attempting to blog again. (thanks noor) don't expect it to be a success.

i met my mothers new man friend the other day. and guess what. he's not asian*. they met in the op shop and thats where we (myself & my mother) bumped into him.


* my mother has a think for skinny little asian men for anyone who was wondering.
see image below for case-in-point:

soo bored.
and subsequently a bit lonely.

my mother is ironing blank sheets of paper?

i think i met vincent the vegetarian today. he was delivering stuff at tatsing kfl and happened to be unloading boxes infront of the freezer full of vegetarian stuffs.
i told him what i thought of the char siew - the green brand is absolutely disgusting. i think he agreed. he didn't speak much english.

got accepted into my diploma. which i;m very much happy about.

when send someone an invite for dinner, thety shouldn't send you back a response stating that the made a booking for you and they will not be atending.

playing farcry 2...
if i were a more educated person i might understand what was going on.

currently eating dessert tofu with strawberries and chocolate sauce. (i know it sounds disgusting, but its really is delicious).
here's a hot tip: if your making one of those vegan dessert things that calls for silken tofu, if you can, get dessert tofu instead. one of the main reasons being that your making a dessert. it has a similiar soft texture (it might even possibly be softer) and it just seems more palatble. i think the main reason being that its almost always fresher. desset tofu tends to come in a tub whereas silken tofu usually comes in those sqeeze tube of vaccuum sealed dinglys. its traditionally eaten warmed and drizzled with sugar syrup.

job starts tomorrow. its meant to be 43C. i'm wearing a stuffy shirt and fitted skirt. i hope they have air conditioning.

hang on a moment... chicken is chickens?

daniel radcliff is a shitty actor.

there is something just not right about refering to eggs mashed with mayonaise as 'salad'.

so they were doing random checks for knives @ footscray station. (i guess knife crime never involves cars then).

so only 50% of knives don't get detected.
personally, i'd rather have my rights and freedoms.

the thing is, the police need to stop worrying about appearing racist and just get on with it.

[stage lights up]

kham walks into a cluttered lounge room with piles of books strewn across the floor

Kham: [to mum] hey mum... whats with all the old diaries?
Mum: I nicked them from work years ago.
Kham: okay... so why have you kept a bunch of blank diaries from 1983?
Mum: for your information, 1983*, aswell as 1996* happen to be exactly identical to 2010.
Kham:[blank stare]
Mum: so do you know anyone who needs a diary for 2010?




*note: don't run out and buy diaries from 1983/96, i can't remember if these were the years she actually said matched up with 2010, either way the point remains.

my father brought my brother some huge fucking half a metre long parang.

got what i am supposed to believe are my osce results (round 2). not very happy. in fact, i'm rather dissapointed.

i know i'm not meant to blame other people. and its all my own fault. blah blah blah. i kept booking dates to practice and my simulated patient kept bailing on me. not once in 3-4weeks did they keep a date. never going with that simulated patient ever again.

so there has been another update in the whole results bingle.

in case you weren't following:
1. told in an email by staff that no results would be posted out
2. results arrive in the mail - 4 weeks after the rest of the uni gets their results
3. told that results mailed out were wrong via blackboard - no further comment as the faculty is on holiday
4. nobody sure if that means some people will get a nasty suprise and find themselves sitting sups (having been assured otherwise and already left the state/country)
5. faculty still on break.
6. told on backboard that the faculty wasn't sure exactly what was wrong - they were having a meeting - stay updated
7. told that written exam results were actually correct. OSCE feedback was the incorrect one. supplementary exam notification were probably sent out correctly. key word being probably.

bear in mind that this is the second year in a row they've fumbled sending out exam results. so they're only had 12mnts to solve what should be a simple problem. and no, i don't think i'm being overly critical, the other faculties manage to get their shit sorted with far more subjects and students to juggle.

so what does this all mean?
well. i'm happy with my written exam results.

so i was accosted by a rather energetic young man outside public bar a couple of weeks ago. he wanted me to do a radio interview - something about being asian, and multiculturalism and all that jazz.

well, i just got off the phone. recoding tuesday afternoon.

now I know what your all thinking 'what the hell, you idiot, you're going to be raped'.
a. we're meeting at the state libray
b. he's a 5'4 little asian man who despite being 25, doesn't quite look like he's hit puberty yet.

on the downside... he might know kung-fu.

my grandmother = fucking amazing.

she doesn't quite get my dietary choices. its almost been 6 years. but dammit she keeps trying.

and like all grandmother she is constantly trying to feed me. the problem is, she's a very meat the 3 boiled with no seasoning vegetable kinda lady.

her solution to this predicament - she buys vegetables which she doesn't know the name of (otherwise know in my grandparent house as 'poshy people vegetable')

such vegetable (and fruits) include: brocollini, aubergine, avocado...

dolphin safe... not tuna safe

fatty has a pink mowhawk.
(i think he's trying to compensate for something)

so i was chillin at the community herb garden a couple of weeks ago. and the artichokes had come thorough. and before i had realised my mother's man friend had seized them all. every last one.

he lived by himself and had two grocery bags full of artichokes. so i started hinting. fist subtely. and then somewhat less subtely. and when numbnuts finally got my jist... "but you can't eat artichokes" (raises eyebrows) "because you eat artichokes by soaking them in butter and you don't eat butter"

all i have to say is he better not be banging my mother.