"i can't believe you like trashy reality television"
(20 minutes into wife-swap)
"this is hilarious, these people can't be serious"

i'm going to presume this was written before medusa piercings became popular.

"thats a bit eighties" (a fruit platter contructed to resemble a foot high lark)
"thats a bit chinese restaurant" (tomato rosettes and a fish constructed into a tower with the head placed atop)

went out to 'din dins' with the fobs. apparently shen put all his kids names down for scotch and melbourne grammar when they were born but he ended up sending them to essendon grammar cos it was closer but scotch and melbourne grammar won't stop sending him four sets of junk mail, one for each of his kids. the thing is, his kids are in grades 1,3 and 5 and pre-school and they can't exactly speak english.

fatty: (to kenneth the waiter) 'what's that dipping sauce and tongs for?'
kenneth: 'ummmm... you use it to wash your hands and to thats for cracking the shell of shellfish'
fatty: 'ewwww... that disgusting.get me a VB'
i'm pretty sure as soon as kenneth returned to the kitchen he started bitching in mando to all the other staff about the stupid rude fat fucker on out table.

lasagna: not something i associate with doufu


and frankly, it sounds kinda gross and, well, 'vegan' with all the negative 60s connotations.

dear lord:
Obama, by Versace: candidate inspires Donatella's new style

The fashion world is falling head-over-heels for Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle. Donatella Versace has called the Democratic candidate "the man of the moment", and dedicated her entire spring-summer 2009 menswear collection to him. The Italian designer said she was creating a style for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power".


She even had some fashion tips for Mr Obama, saying: "I would get rid of the tie and jazz up the shirt." Whether Mr Obama will be daring enough to take to the campaign trail attired in shiny suits with skinny lapels teamed with beige leather flip-flops remains to be seen. The collection he inspired was shown in Milan at the weekend and featured no ties, while conventional shirts were replaced with silk scoop-neck T-shirts.

Mr Obama has described his dress sense as "fairly standard" and said that he owned only five suits and four pairs of shoes*. But designers are hoping the stylish couple win in November and that the rather middle-aged style of the Bush White House is consigned to history. Laura Bush likes the well-coiffed matronly look while her husband is happiest as an urban cowboy.

* i wonder if he also has a 'casual friday' like the allen-man


ps/ did anybody else see the short-man and 2:35 on friday in his suit with his dress-shirt unbottoned three buttons down and his grey chest hair running something rampant.

pps/ apparently african-americans, from the actual continent of africa within the past few generations (not from compton) are proportionately the highest educated of all americans (including the azn-americans) which is why i'll say it again: 'barrack obama = not black' (less black than kham is azn in actual fact)

why can't welfarists and abolitionists just all get along?
because welfarists are typically yuppies attempting to buy a social conscience.

apparently in the latest social drama surrounding bickering animal rights academics (which i'm sure you all follow intentently), torres tried to set up a podcast debate between singer and francione. singer declined. i guess he's just too big these days. and i think he's a little jealous because he doesn't have an unoffical fan-club with a snazzy website.

if you've ever tried to decipher a fob on the phone you'll know its damn confusing.
and at times embarrasing. i spent about ten minutes thinking i was talking to the uncle ahlek who works for emirates and can never seen to grasp the concept of time zones always calling in the middle of the night, with the uncle shen who goes to the wholesale market with his truck at 3am everyday and hence always manages to call at inappropriate times also.


*note: neither of these men are actually uncles, but very distant relatives whom nobody quite grasps how we are related to

i'm totally getting one for sam.

madden:

"has anybody read hamlet"
(no response)
"does anybody know the story of hamlet"
(still no response)
"hamlet was... well, i guess you could say he was emo"


"so it was considered socially unacceptable that this journalist described carson kresly as a pillow-biter...
do you all know what that term means: 'pillow biter'...
do you need me to explain that to you..."
(no response and a look of desperation that somebody would bail her out of describing the logistics anal intercourse)

kham: "you can't say curry loudly on the train, people are staring at us, if it weren't for gillian they'd think we were racist"

gillian: "i don't care i hate curries, they're so freakin annoying"

shu-yu: "but its not racist, people say it all the time"

kham: "garveymeister would not approve on public transport, can't you just say of indian, sri lanka, pakistani descent"

girl whos name i forgot: "but what about the bengalis"

shu-yu: "fine. asian of non-oriental-arabic descent"


chess banter represent.

ps/ gillians indian in case you didn't gather, she wan't to be a civil engineer and everything.

there are only two films which i have ever turned into a crying sissy-boy during.

kiong cried during stewart little, finding nemo and indeed, bridget joneses diary.
there are numerous others, but these are the only ones i can remember off the top of my head.

the first film was the lion king. when simba's father was trampled by a stampede of antelope.
the second was earthlings. despite it's slightly tacky 10 min introduction.

just want to clear something up:
just as there is no ham in a hamburger,
no apple in a pineapple,
no strawberry in a strawberry milkshake...

...there is no butter in peanut butter - you don't keep it in the fridge - you didn't 'spring' me eating something non-vegan

Hello Katherine,

Just letting you know that I have made a dental appointment for you with the Chinese dentist in West Footscray for Wed. 2 July at 12 o'clock. Let me know if you can't make this and I will get another time for you - if you don't give sufficient cancellation time they can charge the fee anyway.

Regards,
Maureen

sweet jesus we have a shitty relationship.

i wonder if santorum is in the dictionary?

"if i was a sheep, i'd rather be screwed than stewed"

what a fucking sensationalist piece of scum.
with poultry production its pretty much either a case of you don't know or you don't care. evidently he doesn't care.

i guess after he needed something new after his last, morally-superior, soapbox cause failed miserably.

"i would do more exercise, but it makes me horny" - kiong.

finished midyears. went out drinking.
realised i had two days to submit my uni mid-year piece of assesment.

2000 words on natural philosophy = 1800 words of wank.

might take part of the day off school tomorrow. needs to be in some box somewhere by 4 pm. tram from school not fast enough.

eating mapo doufu. is good. wrecks your innards though.


so i was totally at the cit-lib sat-day mourning and guess who i bumped into. in the philosophy section.

it was something of a throw my hands over my face while screeching ''don't look at me".

the infamous hg. looking for nietzhe for writing nietzhe summaries. makes you feel like even more of a lazy mole*
on the upside of perousing the *cough*(wanker) section i stubled upon a copy of sacred cows and golden geese.

*in the literal sense, those animals that look like furry piglets.

carpet burn.

apparently you can now purchase what peta have labelled a “totally cruelty-free” option at canadian KFCs, a faux-chicken sandwhich with non-vegan mayonaise.

i seriously hope the alv group outside the CBD KFC who hand out peta pamphlets don't support this bullcrap.

i could rant about this, but frankly, francione does a better job than i could.

i think asian babies are cuter than anglo bodies.

i guess that makes me a bad person.

then again, anglo-centric nurses thought i had downsydrone when i was born (i didn't - i just had an asian face)

i ate two breakfeasts before the gat so i wouldn't feel hungry, and i still felt hungry.

after gat:
went to bottle shop.
went to eat dumplings. (and drank beer. and paid corkage.)
went to the workshop. (and drank beer.)
went to the yarra lounge. (and drank long island ice teas. and drank sangria.)
went to seddon. (and drank a chocolate soy milk)

overhear, on the tram to FC:

"so did ya end up going to yer exam"

"nah, had to go bail me boyfriend out"

exams are totally over, so what to do now that something appears to be missing from my life...
why, start studying for end-of-years of couse.

alas, there were no lord of the rings, doctor who, or star wars references in the physics exam. nor were there any questions asking you to draw the mullet on tom as he jumps up and down on a trampoline.

some people looked like they were about to cry when chem finished.
i looked like i had to sneeze... possibly as i did.
but as i'm sure you will all know, the hall is very echo-y, and my sneezes are damn loud and supposedly 'hilarious'.

ps. and besides, everyone knows cirrhosis isn't a real disease.

i get it now,

if you pay your taxes, people dependant on the welfare system are indebted to you.