i shit you not. someone stole my underwear. i won't but hanging my clothes out again anytime soon.

apparently a real film.

brace yourself. take a seat if you have to. my feet are a uk mens 8. otherwise known as clown feet.

i just realised, all the movies i thought had matt daemon in them, actually featured marky mark. like max payne. looks like matt daemon.

you know whats funny.
whats funny is when someones wallet chain gets stuck to the bench. then someone gets stuck to the bench.

classic case of lexical ambiguity

there are many things my mother doesn't believe in.
such as cordial.
the first time i had cordial i was in grade 5 and it was interschool sports.
my mother believed in diluted fruit juice. and i stress diluted.

jelly cups was another contrabad. suitable for vegans and vegetarians from aldi.

"there's something wrong with the fishtank, one of the fish is dead and the other ones are eating it"

so i was in the maribrynong library the other day. minding my studios business. and there was a rather elderly fellow in the desk-cubicle-thing opposite me. and he started making rather odd noises. almost as if he were in pain. and then the desk started shaking. and then i realised. i'd been hit by the public mastubator. and i really had to use the bathroom. but i didn't want to have to walk past him and risk awkward i-know-what-you-did-five-minutes-ago eye contanct. but then he left. so it was all okay in the end. and i'll be honest, i did check on my way back from the bathroom the state he left the deckbicle in.

am i the only one who finds it ironic that the RSPC is having a ginormous cake stall. with the dairy and the eggs and the gelatin and all. oh i forgot. not cute animals.

a lesson in subtelty:

KB who is representing Australia as Captain of the Australian
Debating team in Washington sent her apologies for missing this historic event.

The The Space Show is a one hour radio programme presented every Wednesday evening between 7 and 8 p.m. by Andrew Rennie for 88.3 Southern FM (Southern FM is a Melbourne radio station).

mannix, the guy who sounds like a jockey and looks like a jockey who was just a tad too tall to be a jockey has mantights (skins, although according to richards they're nike and skins are a different brand). and he was wearing them today. and they were flapping round his thighs - thunder-thighs.

i realise this will be of not interest to somebody who cannot picture mannix in floppy man-tights.

my grandmother hates the english. something about a bad horse.

http://abstinencethecondom.com/

from the people who brought you:
"pedophilia is a disease, think about it, you wouldn't date someone with cancer, would you?"

and:

The condom broke, came off, or in some other way malfunctioned. He was behind me and I couldn't tell he wasn't using one. We just got carried away and he didn't pull out in time. I forgot to take my birth control. I had an appointment to get on the pill, but we didn't wait.

There are a whole slew of reasons a woman might find herself in need of a morning after pill; emergency contraception; Plan B. But unless you have Plan B already waiting in your medicine cabinet, it is highly unlikely you'll get your hands on a morning-after pill the morning after.

I am a middle class 29 year old mother of three, living in the Midwest, who sees a physician regularly. I have kept up on the news about Plan B's availability over the counter at major drug stores. In my line of work, I regularly tell teens and young adults to always use protection, and tell girls of reproductive age who aren't so into the whole reproduction thing that they should be on birth control.

I encouraged young women and men to seek Plan B if their contraceptive method failed or they forgot to use contraception, telling them it was easy to obtain. But was it?

On a Tuesday morning at 7 a.m., I set out to discover just how easy it would be for me to get my hands on some emergency contraception. It all started with a web search.

"sunshine free, why do footscray" - and example set to rival that of the bayside library service

the "footscray asian businessmens association" (that actually what they call themselves) have yet again rallied to protest the council push to implement parking meters into the shopping district.

the council wastes money on a whole buch of stupid crap. like why the fuck does my suburban street which leads to nowhere and has no traffic have bike lanes. it makes no sense.

i blame janet rice (previous mayor) who spent over a million on bike lanes. when she was a coucnillor, the local council paid for her to travel to american and europe to 'study' sustainable transport. she's the local greens member. she lives in footscray with her partner penny and her two children and enjoys yoga and gardening.

in other news, yum cha daly has now been altered to read yum cha daily